Just to prove I have some interests aside from sports…lol… I’m doing a post on “relationships”…hey gotta have a backup to sports reporting…anyhow came across an article that was both amusing and useful.
It listed common phrases us men use when we get into discussions with women.
Responses that we males think are fine or innocent but end up getting us into trouble.
So read on… It’ll make you smile and perhaps help, thus, allowing you more time to watch sports (on OC16) instead of being in the doghouse.
Phrase #1 - “Relax.”
Yes, when our other half is irrate or freaking out, it does seem like a good logical response. Wrong! Evidently it’s viewed as the dumbest thing to say. No matter what we think is going on, for the lady it’s freaking out is the correct response to whatever situation is going on. So the relax utterance is really saying “it’s no big deal why are you freaking out?”
Replace “Relax.” with “I’m just as upset about this as you are. Let’s deal with it together.”
This lets her know you are a good, sympathetic male. Which actually gets her to, of all things, relax.
Phrase #2 - “I love you.” (During a fight)
Male is getting talked to strongly. Male just wants it to end. Male says “I love you” thinking it will cool the flames. Wrong! It just pours gasoline turning it up the inferno. According to the article women are trying to get to the heart of the matter and the “I love you” defense is viewed as trivial at best.
Replace with “It won’t happen again” along with a real explanation of why you did what you did. (I love you, can be then said at the end of it to end it nicely.)
Phrase #3 - “It’s up to you.” (A personal favorite of mine! Which explains some things…lol)
Relationships require lots of decisions every day. They range from what to eat, where to go this weekend, what does OC16 have for sports this week. After a day of work and making those decisions, us males (per the article) just don’t care to make more decisions. But we are smart enough to not say “You know what, I just don’t care.” Instead… We do feel comfortable to say “It’s up to you.”
Bam! We hit that button and suddenly we’re on the defensive.
See those decision making situations become work without pay for guys…not my idea but the article’s…although it does make me chuckle. Women. it goes on to say, see those times as “life’s window-shopping moments” and they want our help.
We say “It’s up to you” and it’s like abandonment.
Instead say - “I could really do A or B, but I’m not crazy about C. What are you thinking?”
Oh this one is good! We males will score points for showing that we’re listening, caring, but it gets us out of really making a decision! Brilliant!
Phrase #4 - “You knew I was this way when you met me.”
Another one I’m guilty of and really explains a past relationship fight or two. We males know we are indeed like this. Women see us in a much different light at times. Perhaps it’s from fitting a person into the happily ever after scenario.
Uttering that phrase destroys any wonderful fairy tale hope. It’s received as “it is what is and it’s going to be like this forever.” As I think about it, who would feel good about that reality?
Better phrasing - “It frustrates me too and I’m working on it.”
Smooth, very smooth. We males just have to make sure we do work on it - even just a smidge.
Phrase #5 - “Silence” as in nothing, nada, zip, no response.
We males are some times so worried that what ever we say back will be the wrong thing! Hey, we’re irrational. We like to solve things and that’s not always the right approach. Clamming up is certainly not useful in most times. It’s evidently the ultimate shutdown of our lady. And that only makes them more mad, and more likely to turn it up to get a response out of us.
Instead you say - anything - almost anything is better than the silent treatment. Even saying “I’m upset, let me chill a second and we can talk some more.”
So with the weekend almost upon us, I hope this blog helps my fellow bro’s with their relationships. Who knows, maybe she’ll watch more sports - with - you.
Doctor Phil…pffffffffft…bring it!
